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MOST AMAZING WOMAN

Let's Talk PTSD

Writer's picture: Kristin AndersonKristin Anderson

PTSD can show up in so many ways. Beyond the prominenet fight or flight response which I am SO familiar with, but have worked tirelessly to overcome, blocks can be created to actually feeling good and worthy. These blocks are also PTSD.


I enjoy feeling pleasureable moments in my life, but usually they are alone. I've come to realize that these private moments are a form of PTSD. Shutting people out. People that have in the past hurt me so deeply that I fear opening my heart to anyone ever again. Only one person has crossed my barricade. I am a fortress.


A fortress is formidable, stoic and unyeilding. It can be scary as can I. I often send people running with just my energy alone. I have often thought, "Why do people not like me? I am a good person, kind and caring!". But what I failed to realize is that on the balance of this boundary is pushing away intimacy, being protected from being vulnerable means being protected from also being seen and cared for. The need to go it alone for fear of rejection or hurt is a trauma response. And it is one that I am LOADED with.


I actively avoid people. The few I think I can help are actually scared of me! Well, I am pretty scary. Boundaries are powerful walls of protection that we create around ourselves. Not having them is traumatic. But having them too strong is also traumatic!


Finding the balance is the key. To live open heartedly and let humanity in, while still having boundaries in the moment creating a clear demakation between ourselves and others. Not taking on others emotions, but being able to be a compassionate listener. This is my dance now. To open my heart more fully to humanity while also honoring and protecting said heart.


We are not created to be alone, do it all alone, fight tooth and nail for ourselves all alone. We are created as a tribe of caring and loving beings to love ad serve eachother with our unique gifts, from the heart. And so the pedulum swings back to the middle.


Balance.


There is always balance.


How do you hold boundaries? Or do you?


Do you shut people out or let them override your feelings?


Where do you find yourself in this dance?


I really would love to know! And I am here with an open heart to witness you as we journey this life together.


Cheers to this dance of balance! May we all find our peace in it!


XOXOK



1 Comment


Thank you for sharing on this permanent challenge and art: life balance… sharing is a profound way to put yourself out there, and be vulnerable - a way potentially infinitely helpful (even if only for one thirsty soul) ✨

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