Strong.

I don't want to. I have to.

Not becasue I want to be. Because I HAVE to be. Strong.

Not only am I a single mother of one boy, but the father of this boy has actively tried to tear me down for years. Not only do I NOT get "child support" but he is vemenous with his words and trecherous with his actions. A deep cutting wound every time there was contact between us.

Now, some men, in my experience, will take from the mother in order to gain some kind of power. But here is the thing, when you take support of ANY kind from the mother, you are removing her time, care and energy from the child. And guess who suffers? The child. A mother is a child's lifeline for many years, untill they reach puberty and the next phase of life, into young adulthood. Everything you steal and undermine from her, you take from her children, YOUR children.

A male parent that behaves in this way is the worst kind. Emotional and energetic abandonment. These two aspects are in play far before the actual physical leaving (or being left). Energy leads. And then come the attacks. As if doing it all alone, with no help, wasn't enough, now she is under full scale attack at every encounter. She needs suppport & community.

A wise old woman told me once, and I quote "At some point, Kristin, you have to save yourself." Save yourself. Put YOUR mask on first. You can not help anyone if you are drowning.

Enter BOUNDARIES. Strong ones. Mothers became stronger and stronger. Stronger with boundaries, with being able to bear malicious attacks and keep going. Protected, not just from actions, but from energy. She stops crying and asking why. The why doesn't actually matter when you are drowning.

My own mother got me a magnet for my fridge a few years ago, it says "Strong is the new pretty." I was wearing that hat for many years before that magnet came into my possesion. Strong, badass, stuck up, mean, arrogant, bitch, cold. Yes, that's me. I've become that to survive. That is my protection.

But... I don't want to be strong. I don't want to have to be. My inner child? She is a forest nymph, a ballerina dancing with the flowers in the breeze, speaking to the animals. She is soft and loving and kind to all beings. She sees the beauty in everyone, she sees that damned "potential". Huff. She is an Angel.

I always believed that I was here to assist others. I've always seen the good in people, that damned potential. But I am honestly quite jaded now. Most people are either perps or traumatized by them at some point. The world is in a sad state. It is quite scary. But we will pull out of this nose dive. With the leadership of these weathered mothers.

We can bring the playfulness and joy back to the Earth. Our children are in desprate need of this. We are the mothers of pure love and joy. The birthers of the next generations. Mothers it is time to play more!

What we need now is our men to stand up and protect, provide and preside. Because we can do it all, but we are not meant to.

As for me, I am embracing my soft, playful loving heart. She is quite protected now and has a level of discernment that is unmatched. She can see your betrayal a mile away. She can read you like a book. She can walk through the underworld unscathed and smiling. She has made friends with her demons. She can now bring joy into the depths of dispair.

She is not a girl.

She is a wise woman.

I am a wise woman.

Are you?

This is an AI image of a forest nymph/fairy who is friends with ALL the creatures, kind and devious.